Not all days are good days

I woke up this morning, like the sun was gone; a feeling like the world was crumbling down. Not because of any horrific news or life-changing event, just a bad day. I’m sure you know the kind…. No explanation, irrational… Like seriously, why the F* has the laundry not done ITSELF?! ya ya, ok… maybe not quite that irrational, but ya… it was bad enough to conjure up these type of thoughts….

I feel the need to share this with you mostly because rarely do we let our walls down to admit a day of defeat. We all have this ability to paint a picture of everything is great, we’re fine! All. The. Time. Have you met… Social media? It’s changed our perception of what day to day reality actually looks like. Bombarded with constant posts of good times and photos highlighting everyone’s achievements; It’s cultivated this vision of us being these majestic creatures that lead lives of carefree bliss. Our families are perfect, everyone’s needs are met, smiles are abundant and every moment is lived with intention.

But Sometimes….Reality can be far from. Some days are a mess right from the moment you open your eyes; We all have our internal demons, uphill battles of all varieties. Today was one of those days for me. A disaster from the start, nothing goes right, Hormone driven messy kinda day….

…..But let me tell you what went right.

I spent today with my 2 favourite people. One; My son who is a driving force of positive energy, always smiling and always finding ways to make everyone laugh (even though….my deep level of irritability was tested many times this morning…) Two; My Hubby-to-be that seems to know me better than I know myself at times…. Gave me space to be the fire breathing dragon I became this morning… yet still understood I simply needed hugs and patience to get through the day.

Even though my desire was to stay glued to the couch today at all costs…Instead, we went to the fair. My son asked to go enough times that I figured “Why not? atleast his excitement and smiles will brighten the day.” ……And wouldn’t you know it, a turn battling in the Bumper cars, getting squished on the scrambler, watching my boys on a ride that reached higher than the sun….and lastly a turn in the spinning dogs that left the Carnie impressed with our performance…… my day began to turn. Afterwards, was an afternoon of getting our hands dirty in the garden, planting some flowers, blueberry bushes and strawberry plants. Therapeutic……. Our backyard, a thing of beauty. The day topped off with a date night-in watching one of our favourite shows together…. today wasn’t so bad after all.

Never am I thankful to be greeted by one of those defeated kinda days… But I do remind myself that I always have something to be thankful for; and always will I focus on that, and the fact that every day can be beautiful.

Even when life gets you down, keep your chin up. Focus on the good, and every little thing will be alright! XO

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Mom of the Year

Who? …Who is this mom of the year you speak of? When words like that get tossed around, it can really throw a person off balance!

Wait, me? You must be mistaken; ..?

When we talk about ‘Mom of the year’….. I envision this godly figure that traverses this landscape of motherhood like a cloud rolls across the sky; every action with intention, as if controlled by a being greater than us all. Mom of the year clearly has the perfect home, makes a home cooked meal everyday, is never drained, is intuitive to her childrens every need, never loses her cool, is confident and fulfilled in her own life, and is most obviously, simply…. flawless. So basically, Supermom… and then some.

“Yup. You totally win mom of the year!” (There you go again; why is something so simple defining me as this mom that is doing everything right?) “If there’s anything I can instill into my children, besides being kind and having good morals, it’s to enjoy good music.” (But all we did was take him to an Aaron Pritchett concert, and soon a Paul McCartney concert…..)

It never really occurred to me… but our drive to introduce our son to good music, is so much more than “just” listening to good music! We laugh and sing our way through making dinner, average days are made better by living room dance parties, He falls asleep to the Beatles every night…..and simply adores it. He can sing along to most Beatles songs, and knows more lyrics than I do! A simple pleasure, but is that not what life’s about? Enjoying the ride, stopping and taking in a moment…. Dancing like no ones watching, and Singing like no ones listening! When days get tough, and I need a pick me up… Music. Every time. I turn on those happy sounds, groove to the rhythm, and suddenly life is good again. Not only are we listening to music together, but building up his tools to use later in life when he finds his day needs a pick-me-up.

So there you have it, Supermoms… It’s not about finding perfection, its about finding the simple pleasures in life that will benefit our children for the rest of their lives. Be kind to yourselves; No one can be perfect, but chances are someone in your life thinks you’re mom-of-the-year quality.

P.S. You know who you are; and for that, I thank you 🙂 Not just for the compliment, but for the inspiration.

Meaning of life

The meaning of life….Have you ever truly thought about it? What is this… What’s it all about anyways? Why are we here…..What IS the meaning of life?”

These are questions, I’m told, that my dad asked all the time. I can’t say I recall hearing him say it; but that’s probably because I was 12 when he passed away….So many conversations…… left un-touched. How I wish we could speak now, as adults…oh the depths our conversation could reach!

But alas, I am left to ponder…This meaning of life. I bet no-one imagines it to be a Ratrace of trying to keep up. Insecurities of not having enough, or being enough…Floating around mindlessly…lost.

Why do we insist on stressing ourselves out, over-scheduling….overdo-ing…. Can’t stop because we gotta million things to do!!

Stop. just STOP already! and think….. what should the meaning of YOUR life be? With that in mind, I want to share a quote with you by Simon Sinek from his ‘Start with Why?’:

“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion”…

Your Passion……….

Do you dream of making the world a better place? Do you dream of helping others? Of Raising Children, that will contribute great things to the world? Taking care of yourself, and teaching others how to follow suit; be it physical, or mental health…

How about dreams of exploring the World? Of learning about new cultures; engaging with new people to gain fresh insight. Passing on this knowledge to those you love.

Maybe meaning to your life means building a successful business; making a name for yourself; offering your passion to the world. Perhaps your mission is to encourage others to be entrepreneurs of their own lives, helping to show the world what they can offer.

Whatever brings meaning to your life..live it!! Live it to the best you can be!! You don’t get another chance, life is no Nintendo game!!

(If u got the lyrical reference… Love to you!! ❤ )

Anyways…

So…

Dad…The meaning of life you ask? I think its all in the eyes of the beholder…..

One day we will meet again, and on that day, Lets pickup these thoughts, and discuss.

Forever in my heart ❤ RIP dad.

Letter to my son.

(and maybe one day, I will even let him read it! hah :p )

 

My Dearest Boy,

Today is the beginning of grade 1. No longer just a baby in Kinder, but a boy ready to take on the world.

Such a beautiful tender age; you love me with your whole being, my biggest fan. But too soon will be the days you’re ‘too cool’ for mom… No matter the stage of life, you will forever be the sunshine to my day. As you find your way and introduce yourself to the world, they too will smile.

My Brilliant boy,

I’m proud of all that you do. It may just seem like simple numbers and letters these days, but one day you will move mountains with that mind. My smart boy, oh such brilliance… One day, surely you will be smarter than I.

I do admire your drive to enforce whats right; Even if it means getting in trouble with the teacher… Sorry I have to side with her…One day you’ll understand. I am proud, that moral compass will guide you through life

My sweetest boy,

Your very soul is tender, and kind. Your heart aches too for those who hurt; and for that reason, I know you will be the change in their world. A light in every day.

How did you get so big? I remember the days of rocking you to sleep… Holding you until your fears disappeared….kissing your tears away.

Oh my handsome boy…

I watch you grow and the only thing I can think is how proud I am. Of the boy you are, and the man that you will become.

 

XO Forever love, Mom

It’s time to get serious, about bread.

Before I Begin telling you of my adventures in Sourdough, let me tell you a little story about the history of bread. As long as man has existed, so too has bread; ok, maybe that statement is a bit of a stretch, but known existence of bread dates back to years ending in BC….so…yah, it’s been a while… Anyways, from that point up until the late 19th century, bread was simple. The grain was collected and ground down with grinding stones; Once ground down to flour, ‘real’ bread was made. What do I mean by Real you ask? I mean Flour and Water…A pinch of Salt. and that’s IT! ………I know right? its fascinating that with those ingredients, and those ingredients ONLY, you can create something amazingly delicious that has enough nutrition to live off.

Sorry getting sidetracked, back to the story… In the late 19th century we started commercially producing bread; we removed the bran and the germ, and sold this new fluffy white delicious bread. Soon after white bread was discovered though, the world found itself in a health crisis, and had no idea why! a few scientific discoveries later… We realized that this white flour, that could last indefinitely, was also completely void of all vitamins. By removing the bran and germ, we just removed all health benefits of bread.

With this discovery, we entered the vitamin boom. Everyone advertised to let the world know that the addition of vitamins made their product healthy! Even Schlitz beer jumped on; their slogan was “Beer is good for you – but SCHLITZ Vitamin-D beer is extra good for you.” ……..Vitamin doughnuts? oh yes, it happened.

Enter wonder bread. “Instead of fixing the problem, they now sold the problem, and the solution, in one neat little package.” (anyone else enraged by this so-called ‘healthy’ solution to food?!?!?!! ) This quote on wonder bread is courtesy of Michael Pollen; Thank you to him for the documentaries ‘Cooked’ and ‘In defense of food’. You have opened my eyes to whats wrong with modern day food; but now…..I feel this overwhelming drive to feed my family food that is actually GOOD for them…..And so begins my adventures in Sourdough.

Day 1; Mix flour and Water….. Tell Jesse we will now have to feed it. Did this concern him? perhaps…. Did we tell him it will eat the fingers of bad children? maybe….. Are we evil? probably.

Day 2: no activity….damn you….

Day 3: Watching in anticipation…

Day 4: ITS ALIVE!!!!

Day 5: …..Maybe?

Day 6:…….wtf… are you dying??!!!

Day 7…is that mold?

*sigh* Starting over, CONVINCED that my ONLY problem was temperature. Turn the temperature up in my sons bedroom so I have a desirable storage space for this new burden on my life (not like my sons gonna overheat in his usual undies-only-jammy-ensemble) Starter #2 begins.

After another week of scheduled feedings, occasional activity, constant worry and countless nights spent reading every possible online article I can find…….. I put my newest means of stress into the fridge, in hopes to re-group and make bread later.

At this moment, I invite you to revisit the picture at the top of the page; Does any part of you believe that I ACTUALLY pulled those loaves from MY oven? yeahhhh….I wish I could say I did. But a visit to Cobs bread, and $11 dollars on 2 loaves of the best Sourdough I’ve ever had….I realize…..Life will be much simpler if I just buy the bread. Once upon a time I had convinced myself that bread from Cobs was too expensive, and I could save myself money and…time? HAH!! the $11 for amazing bread is now worth all the time in the world. Worth every penny.

Thank you Cobs Bread. Every bit of effort you put in so I can stop stressing over this disaster I call sourdough starter, and still feed my family the best food possible… Is everything to me.

Love Your Life

love my life

Hello There, and Welcome back to my blog! Before I continue with my usual ramblings, I want you to take a moment and read that quote again…. Let it sink in for a moment……

Now…the Truthful answer, Do you love it? I realize loving every single moment is impossible; bumps and bruises are inevitable. But as a general rule, is your life one that you love living? Be sure to ignore the pressures of what everyone else thinks, and set aside all subtle hints of guilt……… “Set aside the guilt?” Let me explain. I recently had a conversation with a friend where she admitted to me “we go out for dinner regularly, as we are DINKS(double income, no kids)…why do I feel guilty?” Whereas I later followed up with ” I never have a chance to get tired of being around my son; I share custody with him 50/50, so I embrace and love every moment with him…..why do I feel guilty when friends complain about their children tiring them out?”

I have to admit, I have struggled for quite some time with the decision to post this blog…Why does loving my life feel like a guilty pleasure? Proof that this post is not somekind of self-assuring, ego-boosting blog, let me tell you what I love most about my life, and why you too can love every minute of yours:

Simple mornings, big family breakfasts. Waking up to coffee made for me. Playing soccer in the backyard. My son, Jesse, asking to help make dinner; which is usually a bbq item that we cook while playing in the backyard. The fact that these things can be enjoyed on a work/school night. Experiencing the world through my sons eyes, teaching him about the world around him. Quiet evenings; picnics or a bottle of wine while watching the sunset. Curling up with a good book. Discovering Jesses love for sports, and cheering on our favourite teams as an evening wind down before bed. Family games nights. Good food; Making good food together as a family….you know, all those ‘little’ things……

Funny how we are all so hesitant to share the positives in our lives, for fear that we will be viewed as arrogant and self-centered… WHAT IF, instead, we shared when life was going well, and everyone else shared in that glory; all the while sharing with you their triumphs, as you build them up in return. My wish is for a world where we don’t have to apologize when our life is going well; We should feel proud to have built a life we love, because its not an easy task!

But wait…”What if..” You ask, if your immediate answer to the quote above was not a solid yes? That’s ok too! Life is a series of ups and downs; The key is to always be striving for the up. How can you improve your life? What do you need to be happy? Who do you need in your life to surround you with love? How can you lower stress in your life? What are the little things that make your day?(If you havn’t heard….I’m all about the little things… ;p ❤ ) We all deserve to love our lives, and making all the changes to ensure that happens, is well worth the effort.

Is your glass full??

We all know the scenario..Is the glass half full…or half empty?

Let’s look at it in a literal sense. Are you drinking it and therefore halfway to being empty? Or in process of filling it up…maybe you got distracted and will eventually remember to come and finish filling it up? Or maybe you started filling it with juice but ran out of juice.

…..but what about the cup that has been stagnant for hours…days…weeks? No one available to tell the story of this cup on its mission to being empty or full. Just sitting..waiting…at the mercy of a bystander to do something. Fate…just hanging on the thread of add more? Or dump it out?

OK, maybe a bit deep for a simple cup of water; but consider applying this concept to a moment. Just a simple moment sitting and waiting for someone to decide its fate. It could be anything really…a winning lotto ticket, a missed opportunity or spilt milk….

It’s easy to assign a positive or negative emotion to any of the above scenarios; but what if the opposite was true? That glorious lotto ticket tears a family apart or that missed opportunity opens up time to discover a greater victory. Imagine actually crying over spilt milk..

My point? We make the decision to assign a moment with positive or negative feelings, But it was just that, a decision.

Some moments are less ‘set’ to a positive or negative feeling; for example,

When a child asks you to play but you’re busy…is it a welcome change of pace, or a burden? Its in our hands to take a moment and decide if we will be pulled to a positive or negative response.

So back to the stagnant glass of water…..Full? Empty? Just grab that watering can and fill the damn thing up!!!

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